Are you a Debbie Downer? The name comes from a Saturday Night Live skit with Rachel Dratch playing a person who brings those around her down by communicating in a sad, negative, or depressing way.
These feelings are normal and have their place. But, when someone expresses these feelings more often than not, they are likely to never get ahead. If you are someone who tends to look at the bad side vs the good side, know there are some serious consequences that come with constantly looking at the bad side of things.
According to the Mayo Clinic, the health benefits of positive thinking can include an increased life span, decreased rates of depression, better coping skills, and improved psychological and physical well-being.
In this article we will cover:
- Are you a Debbie Downer?
- Why being a Debbie Downer is getting you nowhere
- Being a Debbie Downer in life
- Being a Debbie Downer in business
- Debbie Downer small business owners
- How to stop being a Debbie Downer
Are you a Debbie Downer?
If you are, do not blame yourself. Your glass half-empty view is likely due to the way your brain is wired. The good news is you can change the way you view things. It is definitely possible for you to change the way you think. Even though most people think that they are an overall positive person, that is often not the case. Since Debbie Downers come in all different shapes and sizes, you probably cannot tell if someone is a Debbie Downer just by looking at them.
Answer these seven questions to find out if you are indeed a Debbie Downer:
- Do you frequently follow up with phrases like, “Yeah, but…” when someone shares good news or when you’ve had a positive thought?
- Does receiving compliments make you feel uncomfortable?
- Is your internal dialog mainly negative? Do you name-call in your head, whether it’s directed at yourself or those you interact with?
- Do you “live for” bad news? Do you spend time each day tuning into shows, websites, or news sources which promote conflict and negativity? Is it tough to go without?
- Is your knee-jerk reaction to complain?
- Do you focus a lot on the past, particularly past grievances?
- Do you find yourself rarely getting excited or enthusiastic, unless it’s about gossip?
More examples of being a Debbie downer include jumping to conclusions, overgeneralizing, labeling, and always expecting the worst thing to happen.
Why being a Debbie Downer is getting you nowhere
Having an overall negative aura can have a huge impact on both your personal life and your business life. Whether your voice inside your head is conscious or subconscious, understand that this mindset directly affects everything you do. If your voice is constantly negative, then that negativity is going to transfer into your feelings and beliefs, as well as to other people around you.
When you are habitually negative, pessimistic, gloomy, or a naysayer that often brings people down, dissuades, and even depresses them, you may find that you cannot keep or have many friends. Which is completely understandable, right? I mean, who wants to constantly be around someone else who is always throwing out negative vibes?
Unfortunately, most Debbie Downers do not recognize how challenging they make it for the other people who are around them. Many people do not know how to act when around a Debbie Downer so they will instead simply avoid being around them altogether. This can definitely get in the way of a Debbie Downer’s ability to achieve, in both life and in business.
Being a Debbie Downer in life
Been a Debbie Downer for a while? Then you are used to this way of thinking. When negativity controls your thoughts, your life view is going to be much different than if you had a positive outlook. When the voice inside your head is more harmful than helpful, it is going to get in the way of your ability to live a happy and productive life. Negative self-talk is not going to get you anywhere in life.
Many Debbie Downers experience social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. They are so used to the negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that they let them dictate how they feel and accordingly how they act. When you let your negative thoughts control you, you feel the need to be perfect. Because you feel you are just not good enough, you are less likely to believe in yourself so you can do something you want to do, and you are more likely to experience depression.
Focusing on negative thoughts can also potentially lead to your experiencing a number of mental health problems, something you definitely want to avoid from happening.
Being a Debbie Downer in business
When it comes to business, attitude matters. Every workplace wants to have good morale. Unfortunately, just one Debbie Downer can potentially bring everyone else down. Negative thoughts can easily lead to a decrease in motivation, for both Debbie Downer’s and co-workers. According to Entrepreneur.com, when people think negatively, they are likely to convert their anxiety into action. This means they are always preparing for the worst possible situation.
What are some of the characteristics Debbie Downer’s have when at work? They tend to get upset easily, they gossip, their outlook tends to be extreme, they do not hang out with a lot of their coworkers, they miss deadlines, they find it difficult to stay on task, and they often talk negatively about the company they are working for.
Debbie Downer small business owners
Are you a Debbie Downer who owns a small business? You must understand that your negative attitude is not just about how you see others, it is about how others see you. As someone who is in charge, know that your negative attitude is going to have an impact on the overall performance of your small business, as well as an impact on all of your workplace relationships. Consequences of negativity in the workplace include high employee turnover, fewer customers, and a loss of profits.
Because you want to avoid a toxic culture, you need to model the behavior you want to see in your workplace. According to Small Business Chronicle, a positive or negative attitude affects how workers approach their jobs, and attitudes can have a ripple effect on those around them. This means that having a positive attitude will result in positive impacts on your business and having a negative attitude will result in negative impacts.
Today’s small business owners are up against a lot of competition, making it necessary for you to do everything in your power to make your business stand out above your competition.
How to stop being a Debbie Downer
The good news is that it is possible for you to stop being a Debbie Downer. In order to stop being a Debbie Downer, you need to have a positive perspective. Luckily, you can learn how to correct your negative thoughts. It really is all about taking back control of your inner voice and using tools so you can break through your old patterns and build a new life being a more positive person.
According to Psychology Today, negative thoughts have a big impact on brain function. Because of these physical changes, know that it can be difficult for you to overcome negativity. Also, know that these changes are reversible. You can stop being a Debbie Downer by following the advice below. And be sure to never underestimate the power of optimism.
Make the decision to stop
The first step in overcoming negative thoughts is for you to make a conscious decision to stop being negative, gloomy, cynical, dismissive, etc.
Keep track
Keeping track of your negative thoughts is helpful as this is the best way for you to be aware of what you are saying, and how you are saying it.
Hang out with positive people
Making new friends and/or joining a like-minded group will help you on your way to achieving a positive outlook in life.
Positive affirmations
Whenever you feel yourself experiencing negative thoughts, create a few positive affirmations you can tell yourself to help remove these negative thoughts – “I am doing my best and that is okay”. “My feelings matter”. “Positivity is a choice”.
Supportive resources
Looking for support groups is a great idea, as well as asking close friends and relatives for support when necessary.
Grateful list
Make a list every day that includes at least three things you are grateful for.
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